Honest to Blog...

I Love to Cook

2012-01-20T08:00:00.003-07:00

The title really says it all. I love to cook. I always have. In my family, the love of cooking appears to have skipped a generation. My younger sister and I both love to cook. Our mom on the other hand, well, let's just say she doesn't share our joy. That's not to say she's a bad cook, because she's not! When she does cook, it always tastes wonderful. If it didn't, we probably wouldn't have holiday dinners that pull in 30+ people every year (no joke, I think Christmas this year was an insane 35 people at one point!). And with that, I give you the first mother/daughter co-blog. Here's my story of how I came to love cooking, and please be sure to go read mom's post on how she doesn't love it.

I was a lucky kid growing up. I had two amazing sets of grandparents that I spent a ton of time with. Both of my grandmothers were amazing cooks, and I spent numerous hours in the kitchen with them. First watching, and in awe of all of the amazing things they would always make. Then I was old enough to help them cook, and that's when I gained an appreciation for cooking. They both made everything from scratch and memory. We all knew better than to ask for recipes, because they didn't exist. In fact they still don't exist, and now that they have both passed on I've tried my best to recreate some of the dishes they made. Some of them have been successful (i.e. Nanny's potato salad), and some of them I've had to give up on because it will just never be the same (i.e Grandma's bean soup).

I was pretty young when they started having me help out in the kitchen. I was a pretty great sous chef if I do say so myself! I used to tear bread for stuffing, pick beans for soup and peel potatoes (Okay, so this one time I took a chunk out of my thumb with the potato peeler. Don't worry, I was fine...but Nanny was more concerned with whether or not I had gotten blood on the potatoes than she was with the fact that I was now missing a piece of my thumb. It's been my favorite scar ever since.). They taught me the basics of cooking, and I'm forever grateful for that.

Now that I'm an adult, the kitchen is my happy place. Well, the kitchen I picture myself having someday is my happy place. My last two kitchens in DC and my parent's kitchen are sooooooooo small. I need to picture the aforementioned dream kitchen in order to be able to cook in those kitchens without going a little crazy. Once I get to the imaginary kitchen, I'm instantly calm. Some people despise all of the prep work for cooking. Slicing, dicing and grating....oh my! I LOVE IT. Doing all of the mundane prep work is cathartic. Maybe it's the fact that you're usually stabbing or cutting something with a sharp knife, but once I start all of the stress from the day just melts away. After that initial prep work to officially release the stress, I feel like nothing can go wrong from that point. Usually, nothing does. I have a pretty good track record for turning out tasty dishes. Well, at least that's what I've been told, and I'm choosing to believe that no one's been lying to me!

My last year in DC was not the best for me. Finances were the toughest they'd ever been, and work was slowly but surely killing a little piece of my soul (it sounds over dramatic, but unfortunately that's how it felt), but if I could end my night by cooking myself, and usually my roommate, a great meal, I felt like everything would be okay, and I could keep going for another day. This feeling night after night eventually gave me my latest and greatest epiphany. Culinary school. Why not? Cooking is one of two things in my life that I've consistently loved doing. I can be a very indecisive person sometimes. Not because I'm a flaky person, but because I get overly passionate about things very quickly, and it then takes me a while to realize that maybe whatever I'm passionate about at the moment isn't the right fit for me. I dare someone to ask me how many times I considered changing my major in college. Cooking though...it's always been a constant thing, and it always will be. It's going to be a little while before I can start school, but you know that when the time comes I'll be here to tell you all about how awesome it is. So stay tuned......

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome....Yuck!

2012-01-18T21:33:00.002-07:00

First, before I get started, mom and I will be doing our first co-blog on Friday. I've already read her post, and it's just as witty as one would expect! So now I have to live up to that....good luck to me! I can promise it will be interesting to see two very different perspectives on the same topic. So be sure to tune in on Friday for that!

Ok, on to today's post. This was mostly sparked by the fact that I made a doctor's appointment with a new doctor today. So, here's a little back story. I'm currently very over-weight. I didn't always used to be over-weight. After going through pictures I figure that I really started to gain weight my senior year of high school. I was really active in high school. Not only was I in the marching band and constantly moving (it takes more athleticism than one would think....clearly it's no football work out, but we were never sitting around doing nothing!), but I also had a gym membership throughout most of high school. A gym membership that I actually used on average of 5 days a week. I may not have been eating perfectly, but I don't think that I was eating poorly enough to completely cancel out my workouts or to really explain how much I ballooned. At the end of my junior year I think I was wearing a size 12 or 13 in juniors pants. By the time I started college I was a size 16 in women's pants. It was only downhill from there. I continued to gain weight through college and into recent years. I'm now a size 20/22. Let me tell you...it's really difficult and very expensive to shop for clothing now. I shop at 3 stores...Old Navy, Lane Bryant and Dress Barn. Plus I feel like crap....physically and emotionally.

Turns out, there was actually a reason for the weight gain. Granted, in college I helped myself gain some of that weight, and I accept full responsibility for making a bad situation worse, but there's not much I can do about it now. Anyway...in the summer of 2008 I was getting ready to move to Washington, DC and decided it would be best to get all of my doctor's appointments out of the way before I went. I got my new contacts and glasses, and got my teeth cleaned, and made my first visit to a lady doctor. I'd never been previously as I'd really had no need to go, or so I thought. After going through a long list of complaints (facial hair growth, extreme cramping, weight gain etc...) the doctor decided I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. I encourage you to visit the site to learn more, but it basically comes with a whole slew of really obnoxious symptoms. I have almost all of them. It's painful....it's frustrating....and it's hard to find a doctor that knows how to treat it.

That first doctor wrote me a couple of prescriptions for things she thought would help, and then told me to lose weight. Then in DC the first doctor I went to told me I was likely misdiagnosed, but she didn't feel the need to go back through the symptoms with me or try to help, so I dumped her. I finally found a doctor that I liked. Unfortunately, she didn't specialize in PCOS (99% of the very few that did specialize in it back there are fertility specialists...not something I was looking for then, or now for that matter), but she was a wonderful person. She did research, and tried to help me find a diet that might help spark the weight loss, all the while being sympathetic to the fact that I had a disorder that causes me to gain weight and simultaneously makes it ridiculously hard to lose it. She was fabulous, and I lost 20 lbs while seeing her.

Now I'm back in Arizona, and was facing having to find yet another doctor. Preferably someone who knows something about PCOS, and would be willing to do a full work up on me to figure out how severe it is, and actually treat it. Let me tell you, it was not something I was looking forward to doing...at all. Lucky for me, my mom spends her days talking to doctor's offices on the phone. She's found a doctor that she assures me is amazing, and gave me a secret phone number to get a hold of the woman she knows at the office so I'd be sure to get in (how awesome is she?!). I have an appointment with said doctor next week, so fingers crossed we can start to really figure this nastiness out and try and get rid of it.

I know this has been a long, less than uplifting, post, but it's something I struggle with daily and will likely blog about numerous times in the future. I'm really determined to get better. I'm currently uncomfortable in my own skin. Literally. I'm never fully comfortable. I'm also in pain pretty frequently. I know some of you may be thinking, "So you gained some weight, deal with it. At least it's not cancer or some other awful terminal illness." Believe me, I fully agree with you. I have family members and friends who have battled cancer. I have a friend with Crohn's disease. I know that compared to what they've gone through, what I have is really minor, but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. So yeah, that's the reader's digest version of my battle with PCOS.

That's all for now.....come back on Friday for a much lighter post about cooking! My first co-blog with mom.

I'm Back....Again...

2012-01-02T15:03:00.002-07:00

I know, I know.....It's been nearly a year since my last post, so why bother? I just can't seem to let the blog go. I'm back for real this time though, because this time I have someone to hold me accountable. More about that in a bit though....

My last post had last year's New Years Resolutions in it. So let's recap on how that went shall we?

Love Myself - We'll just call this one a fail and leave it alone.
Enjoy Life More - Success overall. Once I realized I had to leave my life in DC behind I made sure to live it up good before I left.
Win My Battle With My Weight - This is going to be a long process obviously. It had some ups and downs this year. I lost 20 pounds...then after moving I've gained about 10-15 of those back. So starting tomorrow, it'll be time to go back to the gym and get myself back on the diet that was working.

Okay, now that we've covered that....on to the reader's digest recap of 2011:

I continued to work at the same hotel despite many efforts to find a job elsewhere.
I had to make the difficult decision to move back to Phoenix after 3 wonderful years in DC. Unfortunately my inability to find a new job made it financially impossible for me to stay in DC.
My mom came to visit me for a week in DC and we had a great time being nerdy tourists for a week.
I spent my last months in DC trying to take in as much as I could before I left. This includes many hockey and baseball games, concerts and seeing all of the tourists spots I hadn't seen yet. I didn't quite get around to everything, but it's not like I won't be visiting soon.
In August I was a bridesmaid in a good friend's wedding. It was the weekend before I left town, and it was such a wonderful way to end my time in DC.
My sister flew out to DC and we once again made a cross country road trip in Malibu Barbie.
We stopped in Oklahoma City for a few days where the rest of the family met us and we got to spend some time sight seeing and spending time with a section of the family we don't normally see.
I once again became an AZ citizen in September.
I'm a Phoenix Coyotes season ticket holder.
2 of my best friends got engaged within a week of each other, and it feels like everyone I know either had a baby or announced a pregnancy in 2011.
I'm living at home with the parents and working at the hotel I worked at last time I lived here.

That about sums up 2011. There were a lot of good points and some not so good points, and I'm ready to just move on to 2012. 2012 is going to involve a lot more blogging...no, really, it is! Mom and I are going to be participating in the Blogging from A-Z April Challenge. In order to work ourselves up to blogging 6 days a week, we're going to co-blog. Each month will have a different theme, and we're going to aim for 2 posts a month, but I'd like to think we could manage at least once a week. So stay tuned for that, and we'll see how it goes!

Welcome 2011!

2011-01-17T19:51:00.003-07:00

Well, it's finally a new year, and past time for a new post. I know...I'm a giant slacker. What can I say...I'm a busy girl! Just like everyone else, I have some resolutions for this new year. However, I've put a lot more thought into them this year than I normally do. I wanted them to be attainable. Not something that I'm going to ditch come February. So, here they are....

1) Love Myself. Unfortunately this is something I've struggled with for a long time. Like many people, I'm my own worst critic. That added to some lovely character traits like being a perfectionist and slight over achiever don't make for the best self esteem all of the time. This will probably be the hardest of my resolutions.

2) Enjoy Life More. Don't get me wrong...I absolutely love my life 95% of the time. I have an amazing family and amazing friends, and I live in one of the most amazing cities in the country. This applies more to my stress levels than anything else. Thanks to some genetic tendencies towards anxiety, along with some of the lovely character traits from resolution #1, I stress myself out very easily. I used to be a lot better at getting a grip faster, but in the past 6 months or so I just feel like I've been spiraling. It makes it a lot harder for me to enjoy life, and it makes me not so fun to be around sometimes (I thank God that I have a roommate who is so good at putting up with my crazy and making me feel better). So I'm trying a few things to try and alleviate some of that. Like playing music again. Working it out in the gym. Writing it down in a journal, etc.

3) Finally Winning My Battle With My Weight. Considering my less than positive mental state the past 6 months, I've made some great strides in this. However, it's time to really kick it into gear and just take care of it. I'm uncomfortable in my own skin, and I have been for a long time. I don't want to feel that way anymore. I'm back on South Beach, and I got the Zumba DVD set for my birthday, so I've started that as well. I think as I work on resolutions 1 and 2 I'll have a much easier time with my weight. As of the end of December I've lost 16.5 lbs. In the next couple of weeks I'm hoping to finally get to that 20 lb. milestone.

So there you have it, Sarah's 2011 New Years Resolutions. I'm ready for you 2011...bring it on...

Holiday Hiatus

2010-12-15T16:16:00.003-07:00

Not that you hadn't already noticed, but I'm going to be on hiatus for the holidays. I'm doing this for multiple reasons. Mainly because I just don't have time as I'm busy at work and trying to get things done before I travel West for Christmas. Secondly because with finances being tighter during the holidays it's harder to stick to the diet since good food is expensive. This has caused some yo-yo-ing in my weight that'd I'd just rather not talk about!

That being said....have a wonderful holiday season everyone....see ya in 2011!

October Was a Rough Month...

2010-11-03T18:22:00.002-07:00

There was a lot of stress in October after I came back from vacation. We had some staffing changes in the office that more than doubled my workload. I'm currently spending more time at work than I am at home just about every day.

With all of that stress came a lot of yo-yoing with my weight. I lost, then gained, then lost, then gained. Mostly because I just didn't care. I opted for easy rather than healthy. Lack of funds also makes it difficult to buy things sometimes as well.

That being said...I'm still super stressed out, but trying to get myself back on track. I did lose this past week, so that's good. Only 5 more pounds until I hit the 20 pound mark. That will put me at the weight I thought I was when I went to the doctor and got a wake up call. So hopefully I'll be able to get to that milestone in the next couple of weeks.

Back From Vacation Hiatus...

2010-10-13T19:38:00.002-07:00

And somehow I'm 3.5 lbs. lighter! Please don't ask me how, because I'm pretty sure my mom can attest to how I didn't give a damn about what I ate or how much of it I ate the whole week I was home! I guess I'll have to attribute it to not feeling well upon returning to DC and not eating a whole lot, but I honestly don't know that it made that much of a difference.

So a loss during vacation....apparently it is possible!

Vacation Time!

2010-09-27T08:37:00.002-07:00

Well, I was able to get rid of a half a pound of last week's 2 lb. gain....baby steps....

Honestly though, all I can think about right now is vacation! I leave DC Wednesday morning and head west to AZ for an entire week! It'll be the the longest I've been home since I moved, and I'm very much looking forward to it. So long story short...I'm sure next weeks post will be about another gain, but I'm really okay with it. I'll sacrifice a couple of pounds this weeks if it means I get to eat real Mexican food! So, 2 weeks from today I will likely take myself back to Phase 1 of South Beach and reset my system after what is sure to be a week of binging.

In other news, today is my parents' 30th Wedding Anniversary. My parents are amazing, and I don't know what I would do without them. They are a wonderful example of what a good marriage is, and they're proof that marriage can work despite the obstacles that life throws at you. If you'd like to know more about how awesome my parents are, you can read about them on my mom's blog.

I don't anticipate blogging while I'm away...so I'll see you all in 2 weeks!

Not Every Week Is Successful

2010-09-20T08:20:00.002-07:00

Well, I've had my first unsuccessful week since starting the diet. I gained 2 lbs. last week. However, I have no one to blame but myself, so there's that. I hate horrible all week, so honestly, I'm shocked to have not gained more than that! Normally I cook 5-6 nights a week, and I think this week I only cooked one night, and that was my downfall.

I'm still working on motivating myself to get to the gym. It somehow always works out that I find something else to do when I get home from work, and by the time I'm done it's late and I'm tired. So we'll see how that goes this week.

I've also finally gotten my violin all fixed up so I can play it again, so that's also on the list of things to do this week. I haven't played in about 2 years, so I need to really get back into the swing of it. Once I've gotten my skills back to where they should be I'll start looking for a community symphony to join. I'd love to be playing new music again and performing in concerts. I miss it, and if I could do it for a living I definitely would. I know this has really nothing to do with the diet or weight loss, but it's what makes me happy. And I'm a firm believer that you're more likely to succeed when you're happy.

Okay...I'm illegally posting from work since I don't actually have work to do, so that'll be all for now. Have a great week everyone!

One Month In...

2010-09-10T19:38:00.002-07:00

So, it's been about a month since I've started the South Beach Diet. I've lost 11 lbs. in that month, which is a giant relief. That means it's working! I was also proud of myself, as I attended a wedding over Labor Day Weekend, and I didn't even attempt to follow the diet really, and I only gained one pound. So that was encouraging as well.

I've slowly started to add things back into my diet. I added fruit back in a long time ago, which made everything a lot easier. I've also started adding back things like corn tortillas and whole wheat pasta. I still don't fully trust my body to do well with them, so I won't eat them often, but at least I have them and can use them for some variety.

Now that I have the diet down to a science, I really just need to work on getting to the gym more regularly. So that's the next step in this whole thing....

Week 2 - Baby Steps

2010-08-23T18:28:00.003-07:00

Baby steps has become my new mantra as of this morning. I only lost a half a pound last week. It's a little discouraging, but in all honesty I was ready to see that I'd gained a pound or so back, so what normally would have derailed my will power didn't. Last week was a high stress week for me, and the scale showed it. It happens.

So for this week, I'm going to try and avoid the things I did last week to screw myself up. No shoving half a bagel down my throat just to get food in my stomach. No chugging sugary coffee like it's going out of style. No cupcakes (I did only have one...to celebrate a co-workers birthday....I avoided the other set of cupcakes for someone elses something and the cake for a friend's farewell shindig...overall..win!).

I also got to the gym today for the first time since starting this diet. Another baby step.

I'm feeling pretty good about this whole process, so maybe I'll be able to channel some of this positive energy into a new job! Until next time....

Week One Update

2010-08-18T19:56:00.003-07:00

So, in true procrastinators form I meant to write this on Monday, and am just now getting around to it! So here's a bit of an update.

Turns out grocery shopping is a lot harder when you're not buying your normal staples of bread, rice and pasta...all of which can last longer than a week. Unlike produce that starts to get a little iffy after a week sometimes!

Aside from that I can honestly say that it hasn't been as difficult as I thought it would be, and the couple of things I anticipated that might be issues have been. First of all, I'm a pasta lover. I eat a lot of it. It's one of my favorite foods. Not eating it right now makes me sad. The end. Second, I suck at breakfast. Always have. I don't really like eating when I first wake up in the morning. It just never seems to settle well with my system. I also have this problem where I like to sleep as long as humanly possible in the morning, so I rarely eat before I leave for work. Because we have an employee cafeteria, I generally eat there in the morning before my shift starts. Unfortunately we rarely have "hot" options in the morning. The options are always: bagels, pastries, cereal, instant oatmeal and an assortment of breads and english muffins. Now that all of that stuff is out of my diet, that's also been tough.

Aside from those two minor things, I think this diet might actually be working! In one week I lost 9 lbs. And that was with cheating in a major way on Saturday (I also have a weakness for McD's french fries...eek!) and not making it to the gym once.

This week has been going pretty well so far, but with my stress levels as high as they have been, it's taking a lot more effort and will power to stick with it than it did last week. I'm guilty of stress eating, so all I've wanted all week so far is pasta and ice cream. I'm happy to report that I haven't caved yet!

I've decided to extend phase one for an extra week, but to add fruit back into my diet. I figure I'll start adding things in at baby steps so I won't over do it. I also think adding some fruit back in will help with breakfast as well as giving myself more options so that I won't start to feel bored like I am right now.

I think that's it for now. It's late. There's a good chance this whole post was rambling and didn't make much sense, but it's a post just the same! Have a good rest of the week everyone!

Starting Over....Again....

2010-08-08T21:15:00.003-07:00

Okay...I'm starting over. All of the old posts for this blog have been erased along with my old lifestyle. According to my doctor this change is necessary, so here we go.

Starting around my senior year of high school I started gaining weight. It's only gotten worse since then, and now it's to the point where I need to work on losing about 75 lbs. Two years ago I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. This is part of the reason for the weight gain, as well as the reason why I can't lose it with regular diet and exercise. The only way to get rid of PCOS is to lose weight, but part of the disorder is an insulin resistance problem, which makes it more than difficult to lose weight.

My doctor refuses to prescribe the medication I used to be on to help lose weight. She wants me to try losing weight without it, and she'll reevaluate me in January. So after a lot of research and thought, I've decided to try out the South Beach Diet. After reading the book, I think this may be my best shot at being able to lose this weight since it's aimed at fixing insulin resistance problems.

That being said, this blog is going to be where I keep track of my progress. I figure if I need to write about my weekly progress, it will help me to stick with it. So we'll see how it goes.